Sunday, February 26, 2006

the nightmares of being on a sugarless diet

*stares at tub of M&M's sitting on the table.....mocking me in it's own evil quiet way..."HAHA! you can't eat me!! you're on a diet!!! Ma hauuu!!!!"*

OH YES I CAN!! *grabs tub of chocolate and wrenches top open*

*stuffs face full of tiny colourful sugar coated chocs*

MmMMMmMMMmMmMmMMMmmmm....






......................







Darn..!! Stupid tub of M&M's...!!

Saturday, February 25, 2006

SAM IS BACCCCKKKKK!!!!

well, i'm feeling loads better now...*big smile*

the chocolate fudge really brought me out of my funky mood, guys...haha...especially when Jt asked me to go down to Raspberry (cakehouse) to share the fudge with them...and when i arrived, no one was there...they had all gone up to class to meet me...>.<>

it cleared my head of negative thoughts, nonetheless...and when i got back to class and saw the mini party going on there, i felt like my old self again...!!!! woop-de-doo!!!

got amrail all worried too and the sms he sent me was so sweet...

"hey sam, u need someone to talk to? name the place and time, i'll be there.."

awww...thanks so much, big guy!! from both me AND one sick hoodless girl...

poor shaza has a flu, sore throat and fever...and yet still she insisted on watching the movie with me last night...*smacks shaza on the head..."I told u i could send u home wat...see!!! now u're sicker than u were before!!!"*

anyway, Casanova is an okay-okay movie...VERY predictable...but it has Heath Ledger in it, so i'm not complaining...*heeeeeeeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeeeee....saliva sprays screen*

i'm so glad i'm out of my bad mood now..!!! i feel like being silly again..!! SEE!! told u i'd get out of it soon...*points at no one in particular*

laa laaa laaaaaa.....*puts both feet up onto chair and giggles to self*

Thursday, February 23, 2006

time out..

*big big sigh*

*another big sigh*

a blog is where u are allowed to pour out your feelings right? well, i'm gonna start pouring...

don't comment if all u're gonna do is make me feel worse...

i need a break from college...from people around me...*not all, mind u...some...* i feel like i've been betrayed...i feel like i've misjudged the wrong person...i feel like breaking someone's neck...i feel like giving up...i feel like i have to be a better person, stronger and more independant...a robot if it's possible...i feel like i'm breaking down and there's no one who really understands...

this isn't a problem at all...what i'm experiencing, everyone goes through once in awhile...but because i'm born of the the super sensitive tribe of virgoens, i take it harder than most people...i can't help it...inside, i'm screaming, "STOP FEELING LIKE THIS!!! JUST LET EVERYONE PUT IN THEIR TWO CENTS!!! WHO GIVES A DAMN WHAT THEY THINK!??!?! LET THEM ARGUE!!! LET THEM DISAGREE!!! WHAT'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH YOU, YOU STUPID LITTLE GIRL?!!?! BE A WOMAN!!!!"

i only wish i could....

i have to be strong for some...but i'm weak too...i'll have an emotional breakdown soon if i'm not careful...actually, i think i've already shown signs of breaking down...but i heal fast...no point crying for long...i always thought that if you let it out, nothing will remain in u...but it's not true...

the next day, someone brings up that topic again and reopens a scar that has been sealed...everyone wants to give me their opinion...well, i thank u all...but let me handle it on my own, okay? u may want to help, but please...i just need your support...

WANTED: someone *a friend, preferably* who is able to sit and listen to me wail about everything, must be able to withstand crappy excuses, able to give hugs willingly, NOT on a diet, someone i can pig out with, someone who doesn't have their own problems. Please contact me at 1-800-I-need-a-helping-hand...

u help someone and they'll help u back when u need it...NOT TRUE...some just expect help from u..they won't give any back...

always treat others the way u want them to treat u...AGAIN NOT TRUE...i try...but sometimes they push the limit...and they hurt u in the process...

stop giving me ur point of views!!! and stop telling others about it!!! and stop asking if i'm okay!!!

DO I LOOK OKAY TO U??? *foaming in mouth*

i don't understand!!! i woke up this morning with Rokhtokokusha stuck in my brain...and now i can't stop welling in self pity...give me a break!!!! i just want to have a normal conversation with u...i just want to forget everything and laugh and joke again...why did u have to bring up the topic?!?!?!

and why was i such a fool to keep on talking to u?

i'm not going to blame myself...i did what i thought was right...i defended a friend...i stood up for myself...i've done all my leader has asked me to do...okay, maybe i haven't been a model student this week, but i'm still going for class tomorrow...

i'm starting to cry...darn it!!! *stuffs tissue into eyeballs and continues writing*

i'm feeling so bad right now...

so so bad...

so so so bad.....

i can't help it....oh man!! i know the world's not ending...no one died...other than this, life is good...so why!?!?!?!

someone close to me tried to end his life a month ago...it shocked me...he said it made sense to him at the time...i'm glad he's still around for i cannot lose him....and don't worry, u'll never lose me...i'll never take my own life...no matter how bad things get, they always get better...

*tries to smile*

i can do this...i'll look back on this post 2 weeks from now and laugh...i just have to get through the drama...

everyone's having their own problems right now...i don't want to burden them with mine...

*looks at huge panda sitting on the floor...picks it up and hugs it...*

i wanna be a panda!!

ROKHTOKOKUSHA

ish ish ish...

the first word that popped into my head this morning when i woke up was....

ROKHTOKOKUSHA!!!

what the....??

subconcious mind : rokhtokokusha.......rokhtokokusha.....ROKHTOKOKUSHA.......

it's playing over and over in my head...

thanks to the dracolshia team...for those who don't know...ROKHTOKOKUSHA is a monster with and eagle's head, a horse's/ass's body, owl wings...*though they look more like bat wings to me..hehe...* owl eyes and a tail...for a clearer view of the creature, refer to Shawn's blog...

oh yes...it eats nectar...

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

need to get my mind off things...

been feeling super emo this week...cried 3 times, on 3 consecutive days...let's hope it doesn't drag on to 4 days...or i'll really be labelled as an emo freak...

let's have a story instead...

one day a boy and a girl were walking to their class in block E, TOA premises when a blur of students ran right into them killing the couple instantly. Cause of death, late assignments.

two days later, a girl was walking up the stairs to get to her class on the 3rd level when she suddenly had a heart attack. Cause of death, No lifts.

a week ago, two students, one wearing a hoodie and the other, a short skirt were trying to get into TOA's main building and walked smack into a door. Sign on door said, *DOOR LOCKED, USE NEXT ONE* They walked right smack into the other one too. Sign on door, *THIS ONE IS LOCKED TOO, IDI-OT!* cause of death, small signs.

laughter is the best medicine...

pink panadol is not...

chin hou has a fetish for men undressing, hence the sketches in his notebook..

jt has a fetish for men with their mouths wide open...

shawn has a fetish for putty rubber...

chris has a fettish for russel peters...

benruto has a fetish for chairs with holes in them...good for making choki-choki, he says...

jia ling and li sian has a fetish for censor pixels and fairy tales...

chrystal has a fetish for everything she touches...

eve has a fetish for giving me hair tips...

may has a fetish for laughing till she cries...or crying till she laughs....

ashley has a fetish for making people laugh at her...

william has a fetish for making his dad's butt sore...through playing squash la...what are u thinking...??

james has a fetish for leaving his mark on EVERYTHING....

shaza has a fetish for someone whom i will not mention...

i have a fetish for the new shop called SkinFoods, in Pyramid...

Tuesday, February 7, 2006

Need title mehhh???

I've got nothing to blog about...i don't know how shawn does it...a new post almost everyday...is his life really THAT interesting? hahaha...

well, i miss shaza...haven't seen her in 3 days...she's been busy doing stuff without me...dang it..heh heh...but i'll see her tomorrow!!! YAYY!!!

okay okay...let me think of a topic to blog about....

LALA HAIRSTYLES!!!

no...i don't wanna get feedback from certain Cockroaches....*snigger*

HEAVY SCHOOLBAGS!!!

they're getting heavier...my sister's bag almost broke my shoulder this morning..being the most *cough cough* helpful sister in the world, i wanted to make sure she won't be late for her assembly, so i took her bag out for her..not thinking before i wrenched it off the table...i actually stopped in my tracks because the bag fell to the floor, dragging me with it...so embarrasing...i can't believe how heavy it was...!!! why can't the teachers just allow them to share their textbooks?!?!? it's all the same, isn't it? sometimes they just don't think for the student's sake...so dumb la...ish ish!!

erm..other topics...

CREDIT FINISHING TOO FAST!!!

ah hah!! this, i can relate to...it's not that my credit has finished, i still have money in my phone, but apparently it has expired...so fast!!! maybe i should reload RM30 at once...like Junn Tseng does..

INKING MY DESIGNS!!!

i love inking!! the end results look so professional..!! boy, am i talented..hahaha...*head gets bigger and bigger then explodes*

SPLAT!!

SLEEPING IN LATE!!!

i miss sleep...i love the feeling when u just wake up and realize that ur alarm hasn't rang yet and u still have an hour of sleep before having to wake up for class...^^

WEIRD GUYS CALLING!!!

yeah..this happened today...i was nicely dreaming about that cute guy in One Tree Hill, (Jake, the one with the baby) when the phone rang..my dad had placed the cordless next to my pillow in the morning...nice, daddy!! waking me up by giving me a heart attack...>.< color="#33ccff">
Me : *groggily, and with phlegm* hello...?
Guy : hello.....MAYA???
Me : Excuse me? My what..!??!
Guy : MAYA??!?
Me : U want to speak to Maya?
Guy : Yes. Maya.
Me : I'm sorry, i think u've got the wrong number...
Guy : Oh. I think so. Why is your voice like that?
Me : *ahem ahem cough cough* What's wrong with my voice??
Guy : You sound like just woke up.
Me : Er..cos i did just wake up.
Guy : Oh. *pause pause* Very sexy la.
Me : *head grows big* what? haha...very funny. I think u've got the wrong number, byebye!
Guy : I like your voice. How old are you? I think God made me dial this number on purpose. So that i can meet with you.
Me : *lying through my teeth..no way i'm gonna tell him my age!!* 23.
Guy : Oh. *pause pause* 22??
Me : Er...ya... *what the bafai?!?!?!*
Guy : You got boyfriend ah?
Me : *walau wei....like this also can??* YES!
Guy : *giggles* oh. ask him if u can have part time boyfriend or not. *giggle giggle*
Me : Okay, i don't know who u are...
Guy : You don't know me but you can make friends right?
Me : Not with people i don't know.
Guy : WHY??
Me : It's just weird la. *why am i layan-ing this guy????* I have to go. Bye!
Guy : WAIT!!
Me : *groannnnnnn* yes?
Guy : MAYA???

WHAT THE...!?!?!?!!?! so weird laaaaaaa....

i'm tired of blogging....OooOoOoOoo..the Grammy's is on...!! *goes to watch*

Wednesday, February 1, 2006

Through the years

It always surprises me when i go through all our old pictures..to see how much i've changed in a year...these are a few pictures i took of myself from high school till now...don't laugh and point at me in class on Monday...

This is a picture of me in high school, March 2004



This was taken at an orphanage, July 2004



After SPM, December 2004



Febuary 2005



March 2005



April 2005



May 2005



June 2005



August 2005



January 2006



Me and Joanne 2004



Me and Joanne 2005



My sister and I with freshly straightened hair



A few curly months later



and NOW!!!